This will probably be a bit longer than most intros, but it's really just so that anyone reading this knows what I'm on about. I'll be blogging about the present the past plays a big role in that still so think I should sum it up as best I can here.
And any lil flash back moments that appear in my blogs I'll put in bracketed asterics.
This all started when I was 23yo and had been seperated from my eldest boys dad for 6 months. We broke up on good terms as we had fallen out of love and things were just getting too toxic between us. We agreed he would have Mr 8 every 2nd weekend and for half the holidays with Xmas organised to accomodate both of us.
I met A 6 months after S and myself seperated. I thought he was just fantastic. But I knew in my heart that something wasn't right. Looking back now I see how intense he was. How there were double standards even then. Him trying to distance me from Mr 8's dad and my friends.
A went back and forth between me and his x for the first year and the result of him cheating on me ( I caught him out ) was that he had a daughter Miss 2 with his x B. I was not impressed but welcomed her into my home as how she came about is not her fault. A fought for almost 2 years in court just to get a visitation order finalised. B had said some horrible things about trying to kill Miss 2 whil she was preggy with her. She was very neglectful of Miss 2 as well. The end result was that Miss 2 comes to stay once a month for a weekend and half the school holidays.
Mr 8 takes the bus to his dads every 2nd weekend and for half the holidays also. S is very accomodating when I want to change weekends for what ever reason, as I am of him as well. We always put Bastys wants and needs 1st.
B on the other hand has done and continues to do everything she possibly can to make A seeing Miss 2 hard.
A left me for another girl that I had welcomed into my home with her 2yo son when B was preggy with Miss M. I was absolutely heart broken. I moved out of the suburb but when he came back to me, I stupidly took him back. We moved back into Kura and things were ok for a while as he was working so hard to make things up to me. He had started to earn back some of my trust when it all went down hill again. He was so abusive verbally. Always exploding over nothing. Throwing me around and trashing the house, throwing pot plants all over the floor, hiffing furniture like coffee tables at me, harpooning pool cues at me. Then I found out I was preggy. Foolishly I had wanted to get preggy for so long. But thought it would never happen due to lady problems I had. I had hoped he would change once I was pregnant. But I was foolish in thinking that. He was just as bad.
I remember a particualr time when I was on all 4s cleaning up dirt and pebbles and plant off the lounge floor after he had thrown 3 pot plants at me and missed. I should have left then.
He would down me and my friends saying I was lazy, fat, useless, worthless, a cunt, that I had no friends that they were useless and never did anything for me. Despite the fact that they had done more for both of us than any of his friends ever had.
Our son Mr 1 was born at the end of 09 and not long after we had to move to Tga due to A almost getting in a fight with local gang members and them marking our house. It was all his fault as far as I'm concerned. If he had just walked away it wouldn't have happened. But as always he had t obe the man. But when it came down to it, he didn't go out our gate and fight them he called the cops instead and then told me we had to move.
I didn't want to move, but didn't know what else to do. I decided that so long as we were moving to Tga where my besty of 20 years lived I'd be ok.
So we moved and stayed with A's parents 1st, well his dad my fil and his step mum 'smum'. That didn't last long as A and fil had a big fight and smum couldn't handle the way A talked to me and treated me. So we stayed with my besty for a few weeks till I found this place.
For a while things were great. I account this to how much weight I'd lost. I'd spend a week in hospital with gall stone and liver problems and had to stick to a very strict diet once I was home. That combined with walking Basty to and from school each day, which was an hour and half round trip, helped the weight drop off. But once we were settled in and A was back to being a meany again, I was comfort eating again, and drinking more than I should have been. I had soon put all the weight back on and some extra.
A started a course which was great as it meant he was out of the hosue 4 days a week. But they always ended up having days off for 1 reason or another. He would always pick fights with me if I'd had a drink. Or if I had my besty over. I was so embarrased. And it just kept getting worse.
Despite the fact that I'd always supported him through all his custody battles, treated his daughter like my own. Moved for him when he wanted to. Put up with his x's bullshit which cost us a lot of money over the 2 years. Put up with his looser mates and his looser lazy attitude.
I'm now at breaking point so thought I'd get it all out in here as I have noone left to talk to now.
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