that's what I thought at least 10 times today. While you were yelling insults at me. Yelling at me in front of our sons, even though I told you to stop. Downgrading me in front of them. You yelled repeatedly calling me a fat worthless cunt, bitch, fat fat fat. Yelling that if I don't get my licence I'm going no where in life. Well you've had yours for years and you're still going no where.
My name is Sarah Melanie Chase. I was born on 27th October 1983 in Sydney, Australia. My mum is Dorothy Jeanette Lowrey, my sperm donor father is Terence Chase. Aaron Mark Whalley is my abusive, narcissistic boyfriend. He emotionally blackmails, degrades me, physically assaults me. He has spit on me (on 2 occasions when I was holding our son), kicked me, pulled my hair so hard I thought I would have a bald patch. Thrown me down or against walls, punched my arms, grabbed me by the throat. Thrown hot coffee at me.Threatened me repeatedly.
Just today he told me he would bounce the phone of my face. Leave i the middle of the night with our son Deklin Mark Lowrey-Whalley. Threatened to slit my throat, kill me, give me a tune up, smack me in the face, punch me in the fucking head. All his words not mine. No matter how many times I pick up our son and walk away so he doesn't have to hear it, he just follows me and keeps going, then blames it all one me. Saying to our son, See what your mum makes me do'
I can't wait to be free of you. I deserve to be loved and cherished and adored. Appreciated and romanced. You do not deserve me. You spend your evenings gaming and talking online to your mates because clearly that's what's important to you. Well my kids and my happiness are important to me. You are no longer important to me.
I get up every day with our kids while you sleep in. I make all of their meals, clean them, do all the house work, except for cleaning your room (where your PS3 and marijuana plants are) I organise everything. I get our kids ready for bed, bathe them, dress them, entertain them, while you do what ever you want to do. When you do take them to the park it's never longer than 15 mins. I am the one who makes sure that they have everything they need and most of what they want. I am the one that goes without for them, not you. You refuse to go without anything. I have quit smoking and drinking, 3 months without either now. So funny seeing as you always blamed all our problems on my drinking. Well you still treat me like shit everyday and I haven't had a drink in 3 months. Except for the 2 vodkas I had when you're mate Jeremy brought a bottle over. You are the problem in our relationship, your anger and resentment, not sure if it's towards me or not, most likely towards your parents but gets taken out on me.
You yelled at me today saying that you're the man of the house and you get the last say on everything. And that I have to treat you like the man of the house. I didn't bother to say what I was thinking out loud as I knew it would only make you yell louder at me and possibly throw something at me or hit me.
But what I was thinking was, if you want to be treated like the man of the house, you should behave like one.We don't even have a healthy sex life because of you, you're the one isn't man enough to please me on a regular basis, you're the one who would rather game and talk to your mates than be close to me, or be intimate with me. You're the one who hasn't bothered to get a job, because you're too lazy. You're the one who's a crappy male role model for our sons. You're the one who lets your daughter down all the time, but blames everyone else for it. You behave like a boy not a man. You're a lazy, disrespectful, ignorant, selfish, slobish wanker. I will be better off without you.
So I don't know why I can't seem to leave you. Maybe because you have broken me so much. Because I have allowed you to treat me this way for so long. Like Dr Phil says, we treat others how to treat us. So maybe you're right and maybe this is all my fault, but I doubt it.
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